it’s all a variation
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it’s all a variation

2019 is done. 

My idea of what this year would be like after my cancer year of 2018 was not accurate. Not terrible, quite the contrary. But not what I thought life post-cancer would be like. It’s something that has driven me inward, silenced me. And I’m finding that many other cancer survivors have expressed similar sentiments. I’ve decided to shine a little light on that in the upcoming year through blogging. I have not given this stage of recovery the due it deserves and it’s become a roadblock. So I will give it a voice when it wants to be heard and hope that maybe it helps someone else feel understood and connected.

But that is not for today. Years ago I read a blogger that said she spends the last day of the year doing what she hopes to embrace in the upcoming twelve months. I like that idea. I’ve spent today writing my first magazine article in two years, really thinking about instituting a set of goals for myself and continuing to integrate organization into my daily life as a form of self care.

I also spent some time exploring variations of a wee little watercolor I made. It’s just an experiment but I’ve not been able to push it beyond what it is because the fluid movement of it….well, I find it captivating. I pushed it around in the digital world to see what it would look like if I pulled the colors apart or even removed them. I can see how making variations could become almost like a form of meditation.

Below is the version of the original watercolor with the colors super saturated and then the further variations that really drew me in.

 

 

 

It feels like a visual representation of 2019 for me. Everything moved around, recovers, shifts again, finds purchase in a new configuration and then slides again. I’m grateful for this year. For the space I’ve demanded for myself, for the understanding of those around me as I just needed to be.

I’m grateful for being part of your tribe. I’m grateful you let me visit with you through the blog. I’m grateful for this beautiful life and for all the things that are coming as time marches on.

Let’s make 2020 a good one.

14 Comments
  • Roberta Whitmore
    Posted at 13:47h, 01 January Reply

    All the best to you in 2020. I look forward to reading your blogs.
    I love the water-colour images.
    Roberta

  • Deb Berkebile
    Posted at 14:06h, 01 January Reply

    Lynn what a wonderful way to look at what’s new on the horizon. I love water colors 😍! Actually my son boughe a set for Christmas. The variations of yours has quite the statement. I sensed some healing properties from me just visualizing them. Happy New year!

  • Barbie
    Posted at 14:16h, 01 January Reply

    Beautiful images and a resonant observation of the evolving cancer recovery process. I look forward to reading more of your writing in 2020 and wish you only the best.

  • Lesley Riley
    Posted at 14:29h, 01 January Reply

    😘

  • Bethany Garner
    Posted at 14:42h, 01 January Reply

    Happy New Year, Lynn… and all the best for a year that will see you exploring many new roads and trying all kinds of different techniques – who is a better master of the unknown than you! Honestly – I have still held on to many small pieces of my INKD collection- having incorporated those fabrics in almost all of my work! Thinking of you and your 2018/19 journey. We are kindred spirits really – and have health issues that are nearly the same. But life is magical and can set us apart from everyone else as we travel the many roads and find options for seeing things differently and the same in many cases as places we have been before.

    Keep working with the watercolors and digital effect – so beautifully shard here! I can’t wait to see what comes up on your arts-focused and so inspiring blog next!
    Bethany in Kingston, ON Canada

  • Holly McLean
    Posted at 14:53h, 01 January Reply

    It occurred to me as I read that I’ve also drawn inward in the last year, not from something as threatening as cancer, but still some very challenging and limiting health issues. Ive actually been thinking of the word center picturing concentric circles or spirals where I expand or contract depending on my health. I have struggled back up after each challenge, each time though, having a harder time to remain positive. I woke up this morning a bit resigned and not very positive. I am doing things I enjoy today and getting on with it. Perhaps you’ve inspired me to keep creating doing and creating.

  • Sarah Ann Smith
    Posted at 15:25h, 01 January Reply

    Don’t you just LOVE watercolor? The B&W reminds me, of course, of medical imaging, but the tweaks are fun to see. I hadn’t heard about last day for next year. Instead I decided yesterday to clear up annoying chores that had been haunting me (mending clothes for example) and vacuum the mess that is/was my studio so that today, Jan. 1, I would ONLY make art…no work, just play to start the year off right. So now that breakfast is drawing to a close (thank you for your company over my boiled egg and bacon!), I’m off to play!

  • Gail
    Posted at 15:31h, 01 January Reply

    I wish you all the best for this new decade! Your art is so inspiring and I hope it brings you the peace you need to look forward and be proud of how you weathered your difficult “storm”.

  • Sandy Jandik
    Posted at 16:23h, 01 January Reply

    What fun with watercolor. It’s good to just experiment and it can be healing.

  • Vicki Keller
    Posted at 20:37h, 01 January Reply

    Thank you for sharing the watercolor variations…..each one is intriguing and inspiring in it’s own way and seems to project a unique mood. So interesting. Almost like playing with color & form variations in a series of pieces. All best wishes to you (& your readers, too) for a happy and creative new year. And, thank you for broadcasting your blog to all of us…..always a thoughtful read !!

  • NM Creatrix
    Posted at 22:06h, 01 January Reply

    Isn’t digital wonderful? So many variation and you still have your original (if you do it right!) Looking forward to your blogging return. I recently ressurected by Blogger site after seeing the renewal fees for hosting my site. Since i no longer have my business, I cannot justify that on my limited income. I too have been printing. May 2020 be fruitful and healthy for you!

  • Mary Jo Kaszubinski
    Posted at 01:11h, 02 January Reply

    Like the water color! But I enjoy your blog so much, keep posting and enjoy sharing your voice with all of us. Peace & Love in 2020

  • Ellen Legare
    Posted at 13:10h, 02 January Reply

    ❤️

  • Deb Kitchens
    Posted at 14:52h, 11 January Reply

    I like the way your brain works…in your writing, your creations, your images, and your self reflections. Please keep them coming! You are inspirational and a gift to the world. Have Peace!

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